There are two books about introverts that everyone should read. Especially those in leadership or management roles. The first is Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, in which Susan Cain explores the characteristics and strengths of introverts in a society that often (over)values extroversion. The second is Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come by Jessica Pan, who wondered what would happen if a shy introvert pushed herself to live like an out-and-out extrovert for a year.
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking
In Quiet, Susan Cain delves into the basic differences between introverts and extroverts, emphasising that introversion is a natural personality trait rather than a flaw to be fixed. She showcases the unique qualities introverts possess, such as deep thinking, strong empathy, creativity, and the ability to focus on tasks. Cain critiques the ‘Extrovert Ideal’ in modern culture, where outgoing, gregarious behaviour is often preferred, and looks at why introverts may often feel pressured to conform to these standards.
Cain explores myths about introversion and the hurdles introverts face in environments that prioritise constant social interaction and assertiveness. She shows how, with the right encouragement and environment, introverts can thrive as leaders and that their quieter approach often brings unique strengths, such as careful listening and thoughtful decision-making. The book explains how introverts can work effectively in teams and contribute significantly to creative endeavours by balancing personal solitude with team collaboration.
While Quiet also mentions the challenges introverts encounter in educational settings, relationships and parenting, the book’s greatest value for leaders is its wide-ranging and insightful analysis of the workplace. Cain outlines simple strategies to promote inclusivity that better harness the full potential of more introverted employees. Ultimately, Cain encourages us all to appreciate and embrace the full diversity of personality types, allowing both introverts and extroverts to thrive and contribute to the world in their own unique and valuable ways. And she confirms that introverts can still be great leaders and team players without being the loudest in the room.
Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come
Sorry I’m Late is a humorous and insightful memoir by Jessica Pan. A self-proclaimed introvert, Pan embarks on a personal challenge to overcome her social anxiety and step out of her comfort zone. Tired of feeling left out and wanting to make more meaningful connections, she vows to spend an entire year living like an extrovert.
Throughout the book, Jessica documents her humorous and often awkward experiences as she pushes herself to engage in activities that terrify her, such as attending networking events, going on solo trips, performing stand-up comedy, and joining social clubs. With each new endeavour, she learns valuable lessons about herself and the world around her. As she immerses herself in various extroverted activities, Jessica gains a deeper understanding of the value of human connection and the benefits of pushing past her introverted tendencies. The book serves as a relatable and inspiring account of personal growth, highlighting the transformative power of embracing discomfort.
Through candid and witty storytelling, Jessica Pan encourages us to embrace own fears, challenge our limitations, and discover the joys of living life to the fullest, whether we identify as introverts or extroverts. Sorry I’m Late is the perfect companion to Quiet as it gives the discussion about personality preferences a very human, and humorous, face. Jessica Pan highlights the potential we all possess to challenge our own assumptions and the labels we often permit to limit our choices.
For those who may be more inclined to the extroverted side of the scale, Sorry I’m Late is a warm-hearted glimpse into the inner musings of an introverted mind. And for introverts, it’s a gentle nudge in the direction of courage; an amusing invitation to explore the world outside our own comfort zone.
But Wait, There’s More…
Cain and Pan both introduce new ways to think about introversion and extroversion with greater compassion and understanding. And both show the value of questioning fixed stereotypes; that occasionally giving ourselves permission to play outside the boundaries of conventional personality frames may lead us to deeper insights about ourselves and other people. If the idea that personality is perhaps more plastic than we’ve been led to believe, then two other books that dig more deeply into that topic are also well worth the investment.
Me, Myself and Us: The Science of Personality and the Art of Well-being
Me, Myself, and Us is Brian Little’s lively, thought-provoking, and ultimately optimistic look at the possibilities and perils of being uniquely ourselves. He explores how personality shapes our lives and questions what, if anything, can we do about it. Drawing on a blend of biology, neuroscience and psychology, Me, Myself, and Us questions how ‘set’ is our personality and how much room to move is open to us. Little also looks at the influence our personalities may have on our health, success and well-being, and shares stories, studies, personal experiences, and entertaining interactive assessments, to help us look again in news ways at who we think we are.
Be Who You Want: Unlocking the Science of Personality Change
One of the myths about personality is that we’re stuck with the one we were born with. In Be Who You Want, Christian Jarrett unpacks the ways that life changes us, but also shows how we can deliberately choose to shape our personalities and influence the course of our lives. The book outlines what psychologists see as the five main personality traits we all possess, and introduces practical ways we can change or adjust how we enact them. Jarret also delves into the upsides of the so-called Dark Triad of personality traits – narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy – and how we might redeploy these qualities in more positive and constructive ways. With lots of quizzes and interactive exercises to help us better understand ourselves, Be Who You Want offers insights into how we can move beyond a 2-dimensional model of personality to a more flexible and versatile expression of who we are.
And for All Non-Readers Among Us…
TED Talk videos:
The power of introverts | Susan Cain – YouTube
Who are you, really? The puzzle of personality | Brian Little – YouTube
Podcast Episodes:
Brian Little – The science of personality and the art of well-being
https://podcasts.apple.com/qa/podcast/the-science-of-personality-and-the-art/id1346314086?i=1000620606348
Or
https://open.spotify.com/episode/5ttjcOQW2dXzOpdFA9079W?si=8oBoi0mJQ9qK7pahGYJ-mw
Susan Cain – Your Hidden Personality
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/your-hidden-personality/id1346314086?i=1000407037714
Or