Coaching Questions

The Kick Start Question: “What’s on your mind?”

This question is a great way to open up a real conversation. Instead of starting with small talk or guessing what’s important, you just ask directly. It gives the other person the chance to bring up whatever is most pressing or meaningful to them – maybe it’s a work issue, a tricky relationship, or even something personal.

Why it works:
People often have a lot on their plates, but they might not feel comfortable bringing it up unless invited. This question shows you care about what matters to them, not just what’s on your agenda.

You: “What’s on your mind?”
Them: “Actually, I’m feeling overwhelmed with the new project and not sure where to start.”

 

The A.W.E. Question: “And what else?”

The first answer you get is rarely the whole story. When you ask, “And what else?” you’re encouraging the person to dig a little deeper. It shows you’re genuinely interested and often leads to more important or insightful stuff coming out.

Why it works:
People sometimes share the “safe” answer first, or they might not realise there’s more beneath the surface. This simple question helps them explore their thoughts and feelings more fully.

Them: “I’m worried about the deadline.”
You: “And what else?”
Them: “I’m also not sure if I have all the info I need, and I’m a bit nervous about asking for help.”

 

The Focus Question: “What’s the real challenge here for you?”

This question helps cut through the clutter and get to the heart of what’s really going on. By adding “for you,” you make it personal, which helps the other person reflect on what’s truly difficult for them-not just what’s happening on the surface.

Why it works:
People might talk about problems in general terms, but this question helps them pinpoint what’s actually tough for them specifically. It’s a way to move from vague worries to something more concrete and actionable.

You: “What’s the real challenge here for you?”
Them: “Honestly, I’m afraid I’ll let the team down if I admit I’m struggling.”

 

The Foundation Question: “What do you want?”

It’s surprising how often people haven’t thought about what they actually want out of a situation. This question helps them get clear on their goals or needs, which is the first step to finding a solution.

Why it works:
When people know what they want, it’s much easier to figure out what to do next. It also helps avoid misunderstandings or wasted effort.

You: “What do you want?”
Them: “I’d like some advice on how to organise my tasks better, and maybe some reassurance that I’m on the right track.”

 

The Lazy Question: “How can I help?”

Instead of assuming you know what someone needs, just ask! This keeps you from jumping in with unwanted advice or taking over. It also encourages the other person to think about what support would be most useful for them.

Why it works:
It puts the responsibility back on the other person to ask for what they really need, and it keeps you from overcommitting or solving problems that aren’t yours to solve.

You: “How can I help?”
Them: “Could you help me prioritise my tasks for the week?”

 

The Strategic Question: “If you say yes to this, what will you have to say no to?”

This question is all about being realistic. Whenever you take on something new, you’re probably going to have to let go of something else. This question helps people think through the trade-offs before they commit.

Why it works:
It encourages smarter decision-making by highlighting that every “yes” has a cost. It helps prevent burnout and overcommitment.

You: “If you say yes to leading this new project, what will you have to say no to?”
Them: “I’ll probably have to hand off some of my regular tasks or skip a few meetings.”

 

The Learning Question: “What was most useful or valuable for you in this chat?”

At the end of a conversation, it’s easy to just wrap up and move on. But asking this question helps the other person reflect on what they learned or found helpful, which makes it more likely they’ll remember and use it.

Why it works:
Reflection is where real learning happens. Plus, it gives you feedback on what’s working in your conversations, so you can get even better at helping others.

You: “What was most useful for you in this chat?”
Them: “Realising that it’s okay to ask for help and that I don’t have to do everything myself.”